1. |
Holy Light
03:08
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I was born in the west
with a soul of the east
always wanted to blend
you know they love to tease
I was wide awake
And I just wanted some God damn sleep
and the not knowing it'll be the death of me
What's beyond that holy light
(Staring at that blackness filled with mystery)
how's this work and lord why me
(and answers we could never dream)
oh what keeps me up at night
(is it ever what it seems)
are all the things that we don't see
I just wanted to know
but I'm not sure that curtain ever fully parts
where did you really go
and who the hell is dealing out these cards
maybe I will grow
but what if I just fall apart
and go right back to the start
So tell me what's beyond that holy light
(Staring at that blackness filled with mystery)
how's this work and lord why me
(and answers we could never dream)
oh what keeps me up at night
(is it ever what it seems)
are all the things that we don't see
In time this grand design will be made elemental
how could something so complexly woven be so incidental
coincidence or no was it really meant to be
I'm so unsure beneath a sun that seems to care not for me
So tell me what's beyond that holy light
(Staring at that blackness filled with mystery)
how's this work and lord why me
(and answers we could never dream)
oh what keeps me up at night
(is it ever what it seems)
are all the things that we don't see
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2. |
All the Pieces
03:27
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And suddenly the light shone
and I was right at home
after feeling lost for so long
I abandoned all hope
but then I saw the threads wove
a picture perfect poem
I realized I know exactly where I'm going
it's like it had to fall apart
so it could be rebuilt
expose the weakness
go and tweak it hone your skill
like you wanted to keep running
but instead you stood still
and as you stared it in the eye
you learned the strength of your will
will I fail
or succeed this time
well win lose or draw
it's all a game of the mind
all rivers lead to the ocean
now I finally see
the oceans in my blood
and the river is me
All the pieces fall into place
Eyes of azure skies fill the space
All the pieces fall into place
In a moment the way lightning strikes
everything that was wrong became right
slanted misaligned it was really all fine
the kaleidoscope became a dot that held all of time
it's like I had to pay the price
so I could really know the cost
get tangled up so I could
see how I was caught
evolve, if I'm against them
I'm against me too
in this quilt you tug on one string and everything moves
I had to choose
make my own damn mold
throwing paint onto a canvas
like I just don't know
the picture made no sense
when you stared up close
but when you finally stepped back
it was like whoa...
All the pieces fall into place
Eyes of azure skies fill the space
All the pieces fall into place
Coalesce and come apart
clock ticks like a beating heart
praise the maker when I'm glad
but never thanked him for the bad
that's where the man is made
in love and unafraid
All the pieces fall into place
Eyes of azure skies fill the space
All the pieces fall into place
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3. |
St. Anthony's Fire
03:32
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Whether that pain is an ocean or a drop
the coming and going never seems to stop
good God what sort of place is this
Tony come around and help me find the hope to persist
despite my sins you nurse me back to health
lest I slip up and trip into a brand new hell
oh well it seems the outcome favored me
but who knows there's so much we cannot see
I believe the cruel beauty of the rose
is proof there's someone out there who knows
St. Anthony's fire it burned you alive
St Anthony's fire it kept me warm
And I survived the night and held your tiny hand
and I felt so small on a stage so old and grand
Drought, war or famine you think you got it bad
St Anthony's fire might just drive you mad
so we dance and the show goes on
that cosmic symphony plays an ancient song
I used to long for a reason why and
curse the fates when answers escaped my trying
but I'm done crying, it's both good and it's bad
best thing you can do is trust this crooked little path
hand in hand with the holy mother joyful and bereft
destroying and creating in the very same breath
St. Anthony's fire it burned you alive
St Anthony's fire it kept me warm
And I survived the night and held your tiny hand
and I felt so small on a stage so old and grand
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4. |
Here and Gone
03:54
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This butterfly in my hand is so beautiful
I think I might love it
but if I close my fist to keep it here
there's a chance I gonna crush it
It might leave or it might stay
there's a chance I'll drive myself crazy
wondering which way it's gonna go
there's a chance that its good luck
and bad luck too
still I ride this roller coaster
like a god damn fool
theres a chance that true romance
is really just the stuff of movies
and this is just some more bullshit
that they fed to me
there's a chance that I sabotaged myself
oh let me count the ways
and I'll go back to stumbling round
in a drunken dreary daze
cause there's a chance that
I'm gonna say the wrong thing
you wont text back I'll never know
I'll always be left wondering
there's a chance we're the greatest match
this place has ever known
there's a chance aliens'll come down
and say come on let's get you home
there's a chance it could be better
but I'm trying to make the most
there's a chance I'm a hurricane
and I am headed for your coast
And I'll be here and gone before I know it
and I just really don't want to blow it
But I've been holding this wheel way too tight
Is it fear that's steering you tonight
There's a chance we try way too hard
to hold it all in place
don't you know we're floating free
in this incredibly huge space
but there's a chance that it's all
working out the way it should
and all of these bumps and bruises
actually do me some good
there's a chance this is the creation
of some divine mind is it particle or wave
some things science cant define
there's a chance that if I were launched
a billion light years out
I'd turn back to see
what the hell this place was all about
and I'd realize through those wide eyes
the whole expanse in which we're sitting
is the most awe inspiring poetry
any soul has ever written
And I'll be here and gone before I know it
and I just really don't want to blow it
But I've been holding this wheel way too tight
Is it fear that's steering you tonight
There's a chance one of these days I'm gonna write a hit song
and in the car while you're driving you'll be singing along
and there's a chance the we're never gonna make it
I'll be happy by myself singing these songs down in
I'll be here and gone before I know it
and I just really don't want to blow it
But I've been holding this wheel way too tight
Is it fear that's steering me my whole damn life
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5. |
Day Off
03:59
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6. |
Out of Dust
04:34
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This used to be a fallow field
now it's full of yellow blooms
a hymn to beauty's whims
look what those little seeds could do
sprouting up in this eternal stream
sentenced to never stop moving
so I can't keep hold of a thing
in spite of all of this doing
well at ease let it go let it be
I make up my mind to pick a path
and then that path leads me
and this stream upon whose bed
I've long laid my head
long before I swallowed
all the concepts I've been fed
it feeds me with every beat
another ripple replete
with vibes touching lives out they reach
measuring the atmospheric shift
from every single move I make
reminds that all I found that I can
put my faith in is change
I ain't nothing special,
the earth revolves around the sun
26000 centuries
guess I must be the only one
magnificent or mundane
that sun shines on me all the same
look at all the fuss we make
186,000 miles per second
waves strike the retina
leave an image embedded
look at how I paint it
I love it or I hate it
walking around complaining
when life is just what I make it
but the lines we draw
can be more like walls
so unlike that wide horizon
that gave birth to it all
and if seeing is the art
and my attitude the hand that
shapes the undulating lay of the land
then all Ive done
is make whole lot of stains
and cause this heart
a bunch of undue pain
but if Bob Ross
says that it can be taught
I will take these shaky hands
make something to give you reason to pause
I ain't nothing special,
the earth revolves around the sun
26000 centuries
guess I must be the only one
magnificent or mundane
that sun shines on me all the same
look at all the fuss we make
sunlight twinkling on my wall
one day that reapers gonna come to call
out of dust and just because
he'll turn me back to what I was
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7. |
Limits
04:37
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Dark forces
tryna knock me off course
but I feel fortunate
Lately worshipping
that back and forth
that spinning round
that rising up
and that falling down
sometimes you're found
sometimes you drown
sometimes that darkness
is so profound
And I ate all my words
I am done getting served
Im no longer concerned
I lean into the curves
I paid all my debt
and I will not forget
all the blood tears and sweat
enemies laid to rest
And the darkest of times
the battles that defined
the worst of their kind
were the ones in my mind
I find the limits and I push em
what I just did they said I couldn't
they said Im just a mere man
but when I dig deep
there isn't any space left
between the sky and me
Yeah, I push em
what I just did they said I couldn't
they said Im just a mere man
but when I dig deep
there isn't any space left
between the sky and me
Dark forces
invading my head
while my chore list
gets enormous
of course its
looking for a weak spot
tryna find a way to seep in
eat away until I feel that rot
hear the floorboards creaking
how much can it take
well I used to just break
like poor me what shit fate
but no more bellyaches
I'm way more than meets the eye
the ocean the stars the soil the sky
the forces that tug and pull the tides
don't believe in labels will not be defined
and while that last blast still smolders
Im wiser and Im older
with that weight on my shoulders
this time I won't tip over
I find the limits and I push em
what I just did they said I couldn't
they said Im just a mere man
but when I dig deep
there isn't any space left
between the sky and me
Limitless I
the fire burns for the fly
gray and sublime
in that dim morning light and
as dame fortune puts me through my paces
love seeps in from unexpected places
and I just sip it in like medicine
and it binds to all the venom in
my head and then
I just breathe it out
still the seas, part the clouds
starting out heart it pounds
overcome, no longer bound
I find the limits and I push em
what I just did they said I couldn't
they said Im just a mere man
but when I dig deep
there isn't any space left
between the sky and me
I find the limits and I push em
what I just did they said I couldn't
they said Im just a mere man
but when I dig deep
there isn't any space left
between that
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8. |
Mediocre at Best
03:14
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9. |
Out of My Hands
03:20
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I left my house with all of my books
Sheets in a ball coats hanging on hooks
Jeans on the floor holes in the door
To give it another try, yeah just one more
They said I couldn't and maybe I won't
But what does it matter when I'm all alone
Pacing cold floors in the mansion of my mind
There's nothing to prove when it's just me inside
And I could run run fast as I can
But it's bigger than me and it's out my hands
It's out of my hands
It's out of my hands
It's out of my hands
I'm not the life of the party cat got my tongue
Better stay quiet than prove that I'm dumb
And I'm not well traveled I didn't go far
I'm just a kid wishing on the stars
They laughed when I told 'em
Those will never come true
Well I won't say I told you so if ever they do
Cause it won't be my choosing the universe got plans
And they're bigger than me and they're out of my hands
They're out of my hands
They're out of my hands
They're out of my hands
I am no superman but I got my own kryptonite
I believe my hearts good but when it comes time
for those heavenly gates will they let me in
I couldn't always conquer that beast within
But I fought tooth and nail through storms cold and rough
Lord knows I tried
Is that good enough
Is that good enough
Is that good enough
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Nervous Nikki and the Chill Pills Phoenixville, Pennsylvania
Nervous Nikki and the Chill Pills are an indie, folk, garage rock band with hints of hip hop based in the suburbs of Philly.
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